Marcia's Leadership Q and As: Improve Team Behavior: Ask Questions

Q. In our team meetings, we have members who periodically judge, criticize, and blame other team members. The behavior makes everyone uncomfortable! What should we do?

A. When a team member acts as a judge or critic to put down another member, they are showing their own poor self-esteem and arrogance. Their behavior is controlling and power-seeking. Sadly, they want to act as if they are leading, but their dysfunctional behavior results in increasing fear and decreasing trust. Healthy communication wanes. 

A competent team leader or facilitator immediately intervenes on this behavior. But many don’t know how to. The dysfunction continues, and over time the productivity and team engagement decrease significantly. Soon people may leave the team or the company. 

To pivot poor behavior, any member with good communication skills can intervene and re-direct the conversation. The critic has beliefs or assumptions that may be right or wrong. But if the critic cares about the team goals, the relationships of the team members, and healthy team communication, they will ask questions. They will seek to understand a situation and the work people are doing. They will ask if they need help. 

Rather than judge they will be a supportive colleague. Consider, do you judge and criticize, and blame? Or do you seek to understand and support your team members to accomplish the goals the team is working toward?